Mother's Day Rerun

Care to show mom how much you loved her ... in 2005?

Then get her an Everybody Loves Raymond e-card for Mother's Day.

I got an e-mail yesterday announcing "The popular family sitcom, Everybody Loves Raymond, has joined forces with American Greetings to present Mother’s Day eCards featuring one of TV’s funniest moms, Marie Barone (played by Doris Roberts)."

Well that would have been a great gift four years ago. The show breathed it's last laugh May 16, 2005. True, it has been in syndication ever since. But come on! Unless you've been living under a rock, pop culture has moved on since Robert and Amy wed and Ray and Deborah last spat.

Call me crazy, but it feels like some CBS execs just wanted to milk the final drops of a once hit.

Besides, my favorite Doris Roberts' maternal role was as Frances Smith in 1989's "Christmas Vacation". Can we get a Mother's Day card of Frances swilling martinis and saying "Talk about pissing your money away. I hope you kids see what a silly waste of resources this was"?

I think that would be an awesome card. Of course, it would be even better if it was affixed to a Jelly of the Month certificate.

I'm sorry, did you mean worst gifts for Mom?

Honest to goodness, I got the following "Mother's Day Gift Guide" e-mailed to my work account. Needless to say, I am on the fence about some of these items' status as "Best Gifts" for mom. My comments are in red.

Top 10 Mother's Day Gifts (according to catalogs.com)


1. Mom-O-Matic
$12.95 from Room Service Home

'Cause all mom needs is more junk in her purse. Especially when her co-workers could mistake it for birth control.

2.Chocolate Truffles
$24.88 - Free Shipping - from CandyFavorites.com

Alright, I'll give you that truffles are actually a crowd pleaser.

3.Pink Lilies
$54.99 and same day delivery from Beyond Blossom

Flowers are a great tradition, but something about this photo gives me the heebie jeebies. It kind of screams "Happy Mother's Day, Mom! Oh, and enjoy this lovely funeral arrangement."

4.Digital Photo Key Chain
$22.49 - 50% OFF - from Paper Direct

Go ahead, spend 23 bucks on mom. She'll reward your love by showing off her cool keychain photos of Fido to friends.

5.Almond Spa Basket
$99.95 from Caswell Massey

Again, not a bad gift. But, before you make mom slough all the dead skin off her face and feet herself, take that $100 and get her a spa package at a local salon.

6.Hillary Clinton Nutcracker
$19.95 from The Collector's Edge

Really?!? This has got to be the TACKIEST gift I have ever seen. Unless your mom collects beer cans and her own teeth as they fall out, consider this a big NO on Mother's Day.

7.Keurig Elite Single-Cup Coffee Brewer
$99.99 - From Green Mountain Coffee

Could be a good gift, but most adults who consume volumes of coffee each morning have already purchased a coffee maker. Instead, make mom brunch and serve her favorite coffee.

8.Sleep Therapy Pillow
$49.00 From Soundbytes

This is actually the only gift on here I would consider good. But, I still wouldn't recommend. Most people like to pick out their own pillows, so they can get the proper firmness or softness they prefer.

9.Onion Goggles
$19.99 from King Arthur Flour

File this under "Crap mom would least like." Seriously?!? Onion Goggles?!? Unless your mom makes Awesome Blossoms for a living, she can handle occasional unprotected onion slicing. If not, get her some swimmers goggles at the 99 Cent store.

10.Digital Picture Frame
$39.99 with same day shipping at CompUSA

Digital picture frames actually make good gifts. But, if you get one for your mom, be sure to investigate the quality of the frame first. Something about this one makes me feel like it was constructed with "fake wood" wrapping paper. And would it have killed the company to actually use a real photo? That baby's melon is bigger than his "mother's" torso. I so hope that's a PhotoShop error. Otherwise, that kid owes his mom more than a card and a frame on Mother's Day. OUCH!