Meanwhile, back in the land of the living

Hello kiddies,

Sorry I have been MIA for a number of days. I was feeling rather swine-ish.

In the midst of my cough syrup coma, however, I did dream up a few stylish sick bed items I would like to see come about in 20Ten.

1. Skull and crossbones Snuggie.
For when you don't have the strength (or the voice) to tell the man/woman in your life you are too sick for cuddling. Just don your "poison" Snuggie and he/she will get the message to stay away. No questions asked.

2. Jewel bedazalled mask
I see women knitting from time to time while waiting in a doctor's office lobby. In 20Ten, I would like to see those gals bedazzling swine flu masks to give out to those too sick to exchange oxygen with other sick people.(If you've been to a doc's office lately, you know what I'm talking about. Everyone is asked to mask it up these days. Let's give folks their own unique swine style!)

3. DayQuil flasks
My desk at work looks like I knocked off a nurse's station at St. E's. To conceal what ails me, I would like to just combine all my drugs in one stylish flask. That way, I seem cool and sophisticated while chugging combinations of DayQuil, cough medicine and Tylenol. As is, I look like a pathetic user who might be developing a bit of a habit.

King of Pop predicts the swine flu?

'You know I'm Bad. I'm bad! You know it!'
Couldn't resist sharing this pre-Swine Flu pandemic photo of Micheal Jackson.
We could all learn something from the Gloved One about how to properly mask ourselves in the event of an outbreak here in Beaumont...or if we need to hide unsightly plastic surgery mishaps. Your choice.

You know what they say about Karma ...

She's a beast.

I guess I owe the "Easter Bunny" a little apology.
Ever since I wrote about my love/hate relationship with check writers, I have progressively become more and more ill.

Last night, I finally bit the bullet and went to see a doctor. Mostly out of courtesy to my co-workers - some of whom think I have contracted Swine Flu - because I have a nerve-rattling cough and a voice that one of my peers has deemed "so Kathleen Turner."

My prognosis is actually bronchitis. Not such a sexy illness this year. I mean, it is competing with the media darling, swine flu. Bronchitis doesn't even sound cool enough to go head to head with SARS (Remember that pandemic!)

I am a self proclaimed germ-a-phobe. I slather my hands routinely in hand sanitizer and have joked that if I could, I would totally rock a boy in the plastic bubble suit filled with Purell.
My family and friends are starting to fear that I have hand sanitized my immune system away.

What do you think? Is instant hand sanitizer making us weak?