Cosmopolitan magazine (self-proclaimed expert of all things beauty and sex) has declared the thong dead. (I know! Color me shocked!)Thongs, long the destroyer of a visible panty line, are said to be declining in sales, according to the magazine. Boy shorts are surpassing the cheeky underwear by leaps and bounds among consumers.
"Boy shorts make our asses look so amazing. Let's face it, unless you're blessed with Gisele–like DNA, it's likely that a string bisecting your backside wasn't doing your figure any favors. Most boy shorts have a seam running down the middle of the butt, which accentuates the curvature of the bum for any body, giving the illusion of a Kardashian–style keister," the magazine reports.
I am contemplating hosting a farewell thong party. Guests can bring their stash and we can ceremoniously burn panties while jamming to Sisqo's "Thong Song."
What? You forgot about Sisqo? Who could forget these classic lyrics?
"She had dumps like a truck truck truck. Thighs like what what what. All night long. Let me see that thong."
For those of you who might have forgotten this poetic rapper, relive the magic of the 90s and white thongs under a black light below.
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