Time trippin' to 85' and back

I took a most excellent adventure to Parkdale Mall ... ahem, 1985 last night.
Deck shoes, retro Reebok hi-tops and Napolean Dynamite-esqe wrestling shoes are back - much to my HORROR!
Like many of you, I totally rocked the red Reebok hi-tops with slouch socks and T-shirt ties in the late 80s.
So lets take a look back and compare then and now. Party on, dudes:




THEN: It's the Sugarbaker gals! God, I loved Designing Women. Julia (Dixie Carter) was my favorite. She was just the epitome of southern charm and class. Oh, and I am pretty sure Paula Deen channels Charlene when she starts talking all sugary sweet y'all. I keep waiting for her to bust out with Poppler Bluff's Perfect Pie recipe.



NOW: Someone call Delta Burke! Those are shoulder pads Suzanne Sugarbaker wouldn't have even tackled. Although, you could tackle this woman and not even bruise her.



THEN: Molly Ringwald stole our hearts with her quirky fashion sense and good fortune of dating well outside her league. (Come on, you know in the real world Jake Ryan would never have left the hot blonde in Sixteen Candles for Sammy Davis Baker Jr. High school is brutal. )



NOW: Hats off (please!). Unless you dig instantly aging 20 years and warding off the advances of men, sideline the hat ladies.



THEN: Flashdance oozed sex appeal (and sweat) with off-the-shoulder, over sized sweatshirt.



NOW: The off-the-shoulder T-shirt is back! And I gotta say, it's hot. Careful though. You need a cool and properly fitting undershirt to complete the look. Remember, no one wants to see a dingy old bra! Dress right, girls!



THEN: Oh yeah! That caption says all. It is 'denim to die for.' Or, die to trying to avoid. Check out that bedazzling. They don't make em' like they used to (Thank goodness!).



NOW: Ladies and gents, acid wash denim is back! It comes in cooler cuts and styles these days, but I still stress the importance of denim in moderation. No one needs to wear denim head to toe. NO ONE!

Something new for crap collectors

Love wasting money and being the butt of family jokes? Then I have a product for you!

Snuggie fans can rejoice. A little known manufacturer of crappy products, 20/20 Vision Management, is releasing the Wearable Towel, so cleverly advertised as "the towel with arm openings!"

"At first glance, it looks like a towel and well, it is! But it's so much more. The Wearable Towel consists only of three arm openings which are placed along the side of the towel," a news release from the company said.

WHOA! HOLD UP! THREE ARM OPENINGS?!? What the hell do you do with the extra opening? WAIT! Don't answer that.

"We simply made the towel better," said Zoni Stein, president and CEO of 20/20 VM in the press release. Stein also claims to be the creative thinker who manifested this brainchild, errr, Snuggie rip off.

And guess what? It gets better. You can look like a dork in four colors!

Help! It's a fashion crisis!

"Nothing horrible has happened, but ummm ... I need you to call me back ASAP," was the voice mail that greeted me Saturday afternoon.

Heart pounding, I continued to listen - all the while fearing the caller was going to say, "your house is on fire," or "something has happened to one of my children." Turns out, one of my closest pals was just having a fashion crisis.

The problem boiled down to, Liz (that's what I call her for the purpose of this posting) was going to an evening wedding and hated every dress in her closet. It's a crisis we can all relate to.

She said she really wanted to wear a dress she had worn to a wedding in February, but didn't want anyone to think she only had one good dress to her name.

I've been to a number of weddings. Can't tell you what anyone was wearing at any of those events, except the bride wore white and the groom was in a tux. I told Liz to go ahead and rock her February dress again, adding "no one but you will know."

A Sunday text message confirmed just that.

If you want to wear a dress again and fear someone will notice, try these tips:

1. Grab a wrap. Pashminas and scarves are great little disguising devices that can change your entire look and keep you warm when spring nights turn chilly.

2. Choose new accessorise. The first time you wore the dress you wore long dangly earrings. Next time, choose more demure earrings and don a sparkly necklase. Same goes with changing up your shoes and handbags.

3. Make it a hair do. If you wore your hair down at the first wedding, try a fun up-do for the next or vise versa. Your hair will alter the appearance of the dress' neckline.

Now, go celebrate and be marry! Errr, merry!